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陈医生:


你好,我是彭禹。


我用你的材料费给孙原买了两把仿真枪,是孙原酷爱,我很爱的玩具。但因为现在大陆还不允许个人拥有枪支,也不允许有仿真枪,也不允许有刀具(菜刀还可以用),如果违反规定被发现,代价相当惨重(到底有多惨重,还不知道)。尤其是近几年,控制相当厉害,听说几年前买的玩具枪都会被查出来,被当做「私藏武器」论处。所以只能暂时放在你家陈列,目前还不知会存放多久。很羡慕你家可以随便摆放这些仿真枪支,希望有一天它们能物归原主摆放在我的北京家里。到时一定请亲朋好友,台湾的朋友来喝酒!
放在你家里,替我们好好保管它们,替我们爱护它,维护它。我们什么时候想看又看不到的时候,就替我们拍一张照片,要是我想抱一下,你就替我抱着枪拍张照片email我们,就像我们拿着它一样。如果我们想玩,可以Skype教你怎么替我们玩(到时不要穿太干净的衣服)。有时间我会在网上订购一些零件,直接送到你家里,我会教你怎么替我装配上去。要是我有朋友来台北想看我的枪,会跟你联系,到时你就把门打开让我的朋友看看,别忘了你们一起和枪拍张照片寄给我哟!(注意拍照的时候不要挡住枪),我们就很高兴了!替我擦枪的时候,一定不要用粗糙的布擦,找几块麂皮,先擦干净再封上点机油(因为台湾比较潮湿,时间久了会生锈)。你一定要知道,我不是开玩笑,这些对我们很重要!一定认真执行哟!
如果有一天,你也很爱枪,我也不建议抱着枪睡觉,因为机油会把被子油了。


没有我们的同意千万不要自己玩。拿的时候一定握紧,枪口朝天,不要枪头触地,千万不要摔在地上。尤其是M200(一摔必坏)。
先嘱咐你这么多,什么时候想起来什么随时告诉你。最后希望你可以像我们一样喜欢它们!

祝好!
对了:这个计划叫:芝麻开门

彭禹
2012年3月3日
星期六于台北玫瑰酒店

 

 

Dear Dr. Chen:


Greetings, my name is Peng Yu.


I have used your production fee to purchase two imitation guns. Sun Yuan is infatuated with them, and I am fond as well. But because firearms are currently illegal in China, these imitation guns are also prohibited, and the same goes for knives (though culinary ones are okay). A violation would bring about uncertain punishment (I am not even sure what kind of price one would have to pay). Especially in recent years, control over these items has become very strict, I even heard a few years ago that someone that purchased toy guys was later caught and accused of “possessing a weapon”. Under these circumstances, we have no choice but to leave these items stored in your care, though at present I cannot say for how long. I am jealous that you will be able to display these imitation guns your home, and I am hopeful that one day they can be returned to my home in Beijing. When that time comes I will surely invite all of my buddies and Taiwan friends to come have a drink!

While these guns are in your home, take good care of them for us and safeguard them for us. At those times when we are unable to see them, take photographs of them for us; if I want to hug and touch them, you can hug and touch them for us and send us a photo by email—then it will feel like we are holding them. If we want to shoot off a few rounds, we can use Skype to instruct you on how to fire them (but I suggest you don't wear clothes that are too clean). If I have time I might buy some more accessories and have them sent straight to your home and then I can teach you how to install them. If I have friends coming through Taipei who want to see the guns, I might get in touch with you and when the time comes, ask that you to open your doors and show to my friends, just don’t forget to take a picture together (but be careful not to obstruct the gun when taking the photo)! It will make us so happy! When you are taking care of the guns please don’t use any rough cloth, the best is to use suede and a drop of oil (because Taiwan is humid, over long periods of time it’s possible to rust). I am not joking – these things are very important to us! Please follow our instructions!

If one day, you find yourself falling in love with guns too, I don't recommend you take them to bed with you, because the oil will ruin the bedsheets. Without our consent, do not play or handle them yourself. When you handle them you should always be alert: point the barrel upwards, don't let it touch the ground and don’t ever drop the gun onto the ground, especially the M200 (once it falls it will be broken).

We’ve already said too much—if I think of anything else I will get in touch and let you know. Finally, let us say this: we wish you can enjoy them as much as us!

All the best,
[in regards to the project Open Sesame]
Peng Yu
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Rose Boutique Hotel, Taipei